Tag Archives: rut

Oh The Places You’ll Go

The most dangerous thing in life is our biases and preconceptions. Living as if our younger selves were fortune tellers means always holding ourselves up to a idealized standard that never really existed. I pictured myself at a very different place at 26, but now that I am here, I am not in that elusive magical cookie cutter life. I also used to think that 26 sounded old, but I still act immature so that can’t be right.

The older I get, the more I wish I had taken Dr. Seuss more seriously. The cartoons in his rhymes always suggested to me that the books were not to impart anything substantial, but looking back, Dr. Seuss was one of the first cheerleaders in most of our homes.

“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew,
Just go right along, and you’ll start happening too”
-Dr. Seuss

Lately, my head has been overwhelmed with a constant effort to decipher what I think I want from what I actually want. Even that sentence confuses me. There have been a few occasions where the amount of conflicting ideas screaming over top of each other in my head make me think that I will be the next Torontonian sleeping on the subway and talking to imaginary friends. Except I plan to gracefully exit this phase at some point. Fingers crossed that crazy can just be a pit stop.

Moving to Toronto was a situation that I did not think through and was not a part of a plan in any way. It was a good idea at the time and I happily arrived to a new city feeling like I was moving forward but was really chasing my tail. It was an opportunity that the world gave me to grow up real fast but I responded by dragging my heels and wasting as much energy as possible to stay in my comfortable little rut. So, instead, I learned some life skills the hard and tedious way after they came around a few more times. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks though; throw me a treat Universe, I get it.

After reading through some of my posts, I feel like my blog is a motivational speaker that struggles with motivation. There is always a point and often a positive message that gets sidetracked or overtaken by stories or stats of how much I can deadlift (115lbs for 3×10. See how I slipped that in there!) At least I believe I can keep myself from living in a van down by the river. (If you don’t get that joke you should watch this and laugh with me)

So tonight I skipped my food prep for tomorrow and most of studying to write this, and dance around my apartment. It is hard to take life advice from Taylor Swift but she sure can make me dance. And yes, this was my life changing revelation. Just roll with it.

 

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The Way We Were

Time has really flown by and I have missed many posts that I wanted to write. For some reason the less interesting obligations always outweigh the fun commitments.

A few weeks ago, K left for a new job and a much better career opportunity. So of course we happily told him that he was making a great decision (which he was), but when we saw him holding the contents of his locker in a garbage bag we realised this was not in our best interest.

K and I met working at the gym and he has been a great friend since then; we won Supperworks together, we got jacked together (in a relative and debatable way), and he taught me that I know very little of self control. His meals alone require some Googling, a calculator, and a third party approval. The day he casually asked me to get him some salsa was nerve wracking.

We definitely miss his positive energy, his constant curiosity, and his enthusiasm during our team workouts. Shockingly, this gym has very few trainers and members who want to work out until they lay in a pile of heaving sweat on the floor.

Since our gym was bought out, it seems like each day chips away a little more resemblance from the way things were. Unfortunately, my brain still holds on to that old comfort as if it will reappear when things settle. I guess I have only been endorsing change when it is self motivated, and that is hardly change at all.

Over the past few weeks (and months, and years) I have learned that the best way to deal with change is to throw yourself into it. Pretend you don’t want to just dig your heels in and rant about the good old days. Being unhappy wastes too much energy, and you need that energy for your workouts.

I can’t put into words how strongly I believe that things happen for a reason. I have been so determined to stay set in my ways that it scares me to think how crazy I’ll be when I’m elderly. I’ll be wearing a spandex onesie around the gym yelling about the “kids these days” who don’t know anything about exercise. Then I’ll be like my client who absent mindedly hangs her purse and sweater on the closest piece of equipment whether it is in use or not.

Any form of resistance seems to negatively impact all aspects of life since that energy can’t be contained and focused on just one specific pinpoint. And if you’re wasting all that energy then you will never know how much weight you can actually lift!!!

It seems clear that you can’t go anywhere in life if you won’t move your feet. The difficulty that we underestimate lies in deciding to pick up your foot.

 

“To complain is always non-acceptance of what is… Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” -Eckhart Tolle

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